Derpium, Derpate, Derpon

Derpium
First made in 1787, a man named Evan Todds mixed two unknown chemicals to make this solid, he named this Derpium. After leaving in the public for 1 month, he found these results: After 213 years of trying to hold this element in public, a woman named Curie Marie made a box made out of lithium, to hold this element and seal the harmful particles it can spread.
 * Gave people weakness
 * Made 27% of the victims seizures, mental problems, and suicidal thoughts.
 * 50% of people felt nauseous
 * 10% were exposed of radioactive chemicals